Blood, Sweat & Tea, page 149 by Tom Reynolds
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what is it'.
I looked at the display terminal in the car.
'It's a bloody maternity', I was outraged, 'One-minute contractions - I bet they'll be 10minutes apart when I get there'.
'I reckon they will as well', replied Control.
So I dutifully shot down there, to a place fairly well known to me - it's a large housing unit for teenagers; they all have social workers and are looked after pretty well. To be honest I think it's a pretty good place, I've never had any trouble there and the residents get a fair bit of support.
I entered the accommodation, to find a young woman having a contraction, while standing in a puddle of fluid.
No problem, I thought, the waters have just broken.
'I really want to go a poo', she said.
'Oh bugger', thought me.
It's one of the guides as to how close you are to delivering the baby - if you want to go poo, then birth probably isn't too far away.
Then she had another strong contraction, then another - they were 1minute apart...
So I turned on my breezy, 'relax, everything is fine, nothing to worry about' personality and quickly phoned Control to see when the ambulance was. I was told it was on it's way and they turned up pretty quickly, but by then birth was too close, so we decided to 'stay and play'.
A midwife was called for, and she told Control she would make her way there in her own car. I do have a slight problem with this. If an ambulance crew needs a midwife, it's generally as an emergency, otherwise we transport the patient to hospital. If it's an emergency then shouldn't we pick up the midwife and get her to the job on Blue lights and sirens?
The ambulance paramedic and myself let the ambulance EMT do most of the mucky work. Not because we are (particularly) cruel, but because it was his first ambulance delivery... and it's a good experience.
A lovely baby girl was born at 10:29, and we let the father cut the umbilical cord.
Then, after all the screaming, poo, blood, fluid