Blood, Sweat & Tea, page 209 by Tom Reynolds
<< Return to Title Details & Download210
p>I also love the drugs I carry - I don't need to use them much, but when I need them, they really do come in handy.
I hope everything turned out alright, because, as I followed the crew and the patient out to the ambulance, the son shook my hand and said, 'Thank you'.
...Waiting 45minutes for his critically ill mum to get a proper ambulance, and still he thanked me.
Soft, Wet Snooker Ball
The first job of the morning has stayed with me for the rest of the day
- Warning: not for the faint of heart -
I was sent to a 'Male, 59, fitting - locked in empty bathroom'. I got there quickly, within 8minutes, so already it was a 'successful' job.
As the person who met me opened the door to the flat I was overwhelmed with an intense and incredibly disgusting smell. At first I thought that it was the person opening the door (he was rather dishevelled and I've smelt breath that bad before), but no, the smell got stronger as I entered the flat.
There were four people there, all of them looked like the man who opened the door, and the state of the flat made me think that everyone in there was an alcoholic.
Sitting, or rather, propped up on the sofa was the man who had been fitting. His friends had managed to undo the door to the bathroom, and had manhandled him into the living room.
'He's been drinking - we were both drinking heavily yesterday', I was told.
'Fair enough', I said, 'Is he epileptic, or does he have alcoholic fits?'
'Both, I think', replied his friend.
Then I looked down.
Something the size of a snooker ball had rolled down the inside of his jeans and was sitting in front of him. It was brown, it was wet, and was rather horrible looking.
A pile of poo... his poo. A poo done after a night of heavy drinking.
Suddenly I realised where the smell was coming from...
I'm sure that most people realise that after a night on the town, the first poo you do can stink to high heaven. This was that epic poo. I