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nap in my cheer 'Thout hevin' 'em, some good, some bad, all queer.
Now I wuz settin' where I 'd ben, it seemed, An' ain't sure yit whether I r'ally dreamed, Nor, ef I did, how long I might ha' slep', When I hearn some un stompin' up the step, An' lookin' round, ef two an' two make four, I see a Pilgrim Father in the door. He wore a steeple-hat, tall boots, an' spurs With rowels to 'em big ez ches'nut-burrs, An' his gret sword behind him sloped away Long 'z a man's speech thet dunno wut to say.-- "Ef your name's Biglow, an' your given-name Hosee," sez he, "it's arter you I came; I'm your gret-gran'ther multiplied by three."-- "My wut?" sez I.--"Your gret-gret-gret," sez he: "You wouldn't ha' never ben here but for me. Two hunderd an' three year ago this May The ship I come in sailed up Boston Bay; I 'd ben a cunnle in our Civil War,-- But wut on airth hev you gut up one for? I'm told you write in public prints: ef true, It's nateral you should know a thing or two."-- "Thet air's an argymunt I can't endorse,-- 'T would prove, coz you wear spurs, you kep' a horse: For brains," sez I, "wutever you may think, Ain't boun' to cash the draft o' pen-an'-ink,-- Though mos' folks write ez ef they hoped jes' quickenin' The churn would argoo skim-milk into thickenin'; But skim-milk ain't a thing to change its view O' usefleness, no more 'n a smoky flue. But du pray tell me, 'fore we furder go, How in all Natur' did you come to know 'Bout our affairs," sez I, "in Kingdom-Come?"-- "Wal, I worked round at sperrit-rappin' some, In hopes o' larnin' wut wuz goin' on," Sez he, "but mejums lie so like all-split Thet I concluded it wuz best to quit. But, come now, ef you wun't confess to knowin', You 've some conjecturs how the thing's a-goin'."-- "Gran'ther," sez I, "a vane warn't never known Nor asked to hev a jedgment of its own; An' yit, ef 't ain't gut rusty in the jints, It 'a safe to trust its say on certin pints: It knows the wind's opinions to a T, An' the wind settles wut the weather 'll be-"-- "I n