The Atlantic Monthly, page 109 by Various Authors
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The Robin sings in the elm; The cattle stand beneath, Sedate and grave, with great brown eyes, And fragrant meadow-breath.
They listen to the flattered bird, The wise-looking, stupid things! And they never understand a word Of all the Robin sings.
THE MEMORIAL OF A. B., OR MATILDA MUFFIN.
THE MEMORIAL OF A. B.
Humbly Showeth:--
Ladies and gentlemen,--enlightened public,--kind audience,--dear readers,--or whatever else you may be styled,--whose eyes, from remote regions of east, west, or next door, solace themselves between the brown covers of this magazine, making of themselves flowers to its lunar brilliancy,--I wish to state, with all humility and self-disgust, that I am what is popularly called a literary woman.
In the present state of society, I should feel less shame in declaring myself the elect lady of Dunderhed Van Nudel, Esquire, that wealthy Dutch gentleman, aged seventy, whom we all know. It is true, that, as I am young and gay and intelligent, while he is old and stupid and very low Dutch indeed, such an announcement would be equivalent to saying that I was bought by Mr. Van Nudel for half a million of dollars; but then that is customary, and you would all congratulate me.
Also, I should stand a better chance of finding favor in your eyes, if I declared myself to be an indigent tailoress; for no woman should use her head who can use her hands,--a maxim older than Confucius.
Or even if I were a school-ma'am! (blessed be the man who has brought them into fashion and the long path!) In that case, you might say, "Poor thing! isn't she interesting? quite like the school-mistress!"--And I am not averse to pity, since it is love's poor cousin, nor to belonging to a class mentioned in Boston literary society. I really am not!
But the plain truth is, I earn my living by writing. Sewing does not pay. I have no "faculty" at school-keeping; for I invariably spoil all the good children, and pet all the pretty ones,--a process not