The Idler Magazine, Volume III., July 1893, page 49 by Various Authors
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plied calmly, "it is untrue. There is nothing I am ashamed of. What you object to is simply realism." I pointed out Bret Harte had been as realistic, but they did not understand literature on that committee.
"Confess you are ashamed of yourself," he reiterated, "and we will look over it."
"I am not," I persisted, though I foresaw only too clearly that my summer's vacation was doomed if I told the truth. "What is the use of saying I am?"
The headmaster uplifted his hands in horror. "How, after all your kindness to him, he can contradict you----!" he cried.
"When I come to be your age," I conceded to the member of the committee, "it is possible I may look back on it with shame. At present I feel none."
In the end I was given the alternative of expulsion or of publishing nothing which had not passed the censorship of the committee. After considerable hesitation I chose the latter.
This was a blessing in disguise; for, as I have never been able to endure the slightest arbitrary interference with my work, I simply abstained from publishing. Thus, although I still wrote--mainly sentimental verses--my nocturnal studies were less interrupted. Not till I had graduated, and was of age, did I return to my inky vomit. Then came my next first book--a real book at last.
In this also I had the collaboration of a fellow-teacher, Louis Cowen by name. This time my colleague was part-author. It was only gradually that I had been admitted to the privilege of communion with him, for he was my senior by five or six years, and a man of brilliant parts who had already won his spurs in journalism, and who enjoyed deservedly the reputation of an Admirable Crichton. What drew me to him was his mordant wit (to-day, alas! wasted on anonymous journalism! If he would only reconsider his indetermination, the reading public would be the richer!) Together we planned plays, novels, treatises on political economy, and contributions to philosophy. Those were the days of dreams.
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