All Reviews by Greg Homer
Alien Within
by Richard Allen
Hey! I'm the only one who submits Manybooks reviews without reading the book!!!
Washington's Masonic Correspondence
by Julius F. Sachse
Supposedly this book provided author Dan Brown (The Da Vinci Code, Angels and Demons, Tarzan's Discount Adventure) with much of the material for his upcoming super-blockbuster novel 'The Lost Code'. Brown acknowledges the research done by Julius F. Sachse on early American Masonic rituals and practices in the preface of his new book.
Some little known early American Masonic factoids:
*George Washington wore a propeller beanie to his inauguration ball and demanded both John Adams and Button Gwinette wear similar beanies. Propeller beanies were required attire by all Masons of that era.
*Patriot Nathan Hale, also a Mason, never ate any food that contained the letter 't' on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, or Fridays; a Masonic law.
*Aaron Burr, also a devout Mason, always wore two left shoes; this was to show his Masonic brothers his dedication to the Masonic tenet of 'Moderate Discomfort'.
*George Washington, himself, wrote the secret Masonic Chant of Valor:
"I hate England, I hate France; I hate someone's underpants."
Bible Stories and Religious Classics
by Philip P. Wells
Happily this volume includes not just the commonly known stories (David and Goliath, Noah and the Ark, Freebie and the Bean) but several lesser known and very intriguing stories. My favorite; Macateus, the Brave Little Barber.
Macateus the Barber was a young Roman soldier assigned to serve Pontius Pilate, keeping his hair trimmed and looking fine. Well, one fine day Macateus the Barber accidentally nicked the ear of Pontius Pilate, causing the Magistrate some pain. Pontius Pilate immediately ordered Macateus to be crucified in the plaza. Fortunately, John the Baptist pleaded to Pontius Pilate to spare the life of Macateus...which he did. In gratitude, Macateus the Barber offered to wash and style the greasy, matted hair of John the Baptist...but John refused.
Address delivered by Hon. Henry H. Crapo, Governor of Michigan, before the Central Michigan Agricultural Society, at their Sheep-shearing Exhibition held at the Agricultural College Farm, on Thursday, May 24th, 1866
by Henry Howland Crapo
Why does Henry H. Crapo's address to the Central Michigan Agricultural Society at their Sheep-shearing Exhibition in 1866 deserve your time and attention?
Governor Crapo, it seems, was quite the amateur comedy writer. It was during this speech he delivered what has become one of the great American jokes:
"A guy walks into a bar with an iguana on his shoulder. The bartender says, 'HEY! We don't allow greasy little sewer rats in the bar.' The guy says to the bartender, 'It's not a greasy little sewer rat--it's an iguana.' The bartender says, 'I was talking to the iguana.'"
Great Astronomers
by R.S. Ball
Most of this book is like a bucket of gravel--deadly dull and lifeless. But there is a nugget of gold amongst the gravel--the chapter on astronomer Cecil Stawell Stonecipher.
As an astronomer, Mr. Stonecipher made very few ripples in the scientific community; he co-authored a little known paper on the possible eccentric orbit of Rectos, the 4th moon of Neptune, read by possibly 30 people worldwide.
But when Mr. Stonecipher left his telescope and lab--that's when he became truly great and worthy of mention in this book. Cecil Stawell Stonecipher lived two lives; his scientific life and a sporting life. During the summer months he removed his lab coat and glasses and donned the uniform of the old Cincinnati Red Stockings and became 'Three-Fingered' Stonecipher, one of the most skilled and feared pitchers in all of professional baseball. He once stabbed rival Cy Young in the throat with a #2 pencil during a bar fight. He once ********* a young Ty Cobb during a bench-clearing melee in Detroit. He briefly married American actress and singer Lillian Russell but divorced her when she complained about him wearing his baseball shoes in bed.
So to all you kids out there; always look for the nugget of gold in that bucket of gravel.
Hints on Horsemanship, to a Nephew and Niece
by George Greenwood
This edition was the second of a series of three horsemanship pamphlets by Mr. Greenwood. In the first, 'Hints on Horsemanship to a Brother and Sister-in-Law' Greenwood provided some rather odd horsemanship hints:
*Riding with Scissors
*Riding While Drunk
*Nightime Cliff Diving
Obviously, the recommendations ended poorly for Lyle and Marleen Greenwood, his brother and sister-in-law. And so, he composed this more sensible piece for their orphaned children. Chapters include:
*Grooming Your Horse
*Proper Feed
*Gaits
The third and final edition, 'Hints on Horsemanship, to a Pastor and a Grocery Clerk', Greenwood reverted to his bizarre recommendations:
*Sculpting With Manure
*Painting Your Horse
*Teaching Your Horse to Play Croquet
Hopefully Manybooks.net will make the other two available soon.
The Pecan and its Culture
by H. Harold Hume
Finally! A resource to answer that age-old question, how is p-e-c-a-n correctly pronounced.
Is it:
1. PEE-can
2. PEE-cahn
3. puh-CAHN
or
4. puh-CAN
Turns out, according to H. Harold Hume, the p-e-c-a-n is correctly pronounced:
POO-chin
So next time you're in a diner and want some dessert be sure to ask your waitress; 'Could I have a slice of POO-chin pie with ice cream, please.' She'll be might impressed, you bet.
Zenith Television Receiver Operating Manual
by Anonymous
This pamphlet is a godsend! My televising receiver had been giving me fits. First, it was the horizontal control--then the vertical. Had several of the neighbors over to watch Arthur Godfrey last night and couldn't get a good picture at all!
But after reading 'Zenith Television Receiver Operating Manual' with my neighbor Jerry (he's a dentist), we were able to figure out where to adjust both the horizontal and vertical controls. Turns out I may need a new LM531 tube too.
Tonight we're having folks over to watch Loretta Young Theatre with Ed Begley, Barbara Bel Geddes, and Andy Devine in 'Angel in My Pants' on channel 13.
The Johnstown Horror!!!
by James Herbert Walker
Written in 1889, this book was the very first to use three exclamation points in the title. Prior to publication of this book, there had not even been a two exclamation point book title.
The year 1822 did see publication of 'What the Hell's Going on in New Guinea???'; the very first three question mark book; written by Lord McAlister Bainbridge (and hopefully available on Manybooks soon).
The Toilers of the Field
by Richard Jefferies
As the old saying goes; 'For want of a nail, the shoe was lost...'. This book never achieved its rightful place in the literary pantheon due to a simple typographical error...of ONE LETTER!
The original title of this book was meant to be 'The Toilets of the Field'. It is a thorough chronicling of the history of portable toilets and outhouses.
You'll learn such fascinating factoids as:
*Early American portable toilets
*Great events that have occurred in portable toilets
*Portable toilets of the rich and famous
*Portable toilet humor
*Portable toilets in the future
Seems rather strange that the publishers never corrected their spelling error in the title.
Manures and the principles of manuring
by Charles Morton Aikman
Charles Morton Aikman was a prolific writer; a man of inexhaustable energy and curiousity. 'Manures and the Principles of Manuring' became the definative work on the topic; but it was only one of a long list of vital and robust works written by Mr. Aikman. Some of his other works (hopefully soon to be available through Manybooks):
*Tetherball: Official Rules and History
*Personal Grooming Tips of the French
*Miniature Poodles: Pets or Food?
*A Natural History of Abyssinian Rodent Ticks
*Lotty Henderson and the Smugglers of Sandy Cove
*The Rhyming Bible
*Phlegm
*Down the Yellow River with I.P. Freely
The Boy Ranchers on Roaring River
by Willard F. Baker
The 'Boy Ranchers..' adventure series was always one of the better efforts coming out of the 1920s literature for boys. The books in this series chronicle the adventures of Jerry, Blake, and Squeaker (the Boy Ranchers) and the challenges they face raising cattle in the west.
This particular addition to the canon breaks the traditional mold found in the other 'Boy Rancher..' books. In 'The Boy Ranchers on Roaring River' we find all three of the boys addicted to 'diet pills', 'goof balls' and other drugs. Blake and Squeaker attempt to sell one of Jerry's kidneys to wealthy land owner Bryce DelaCroix, to get money to buy more goof balls and diet pills. Fortunately, the boy's housekeeper Mrs. Lundergaard again comes to the rescue, as she comes up with the money, raised from her illegal backroom abortion business.
The 'Roaring River' from the title apparently refers to Roaring River heroin; a particularly potent and addictive strain of the opiate.
The Genus Pinus
by George Russell Shaw
An interesting history behind this work. Young George Russell Shaw (son of playwright George Bernard Shaw and actress Lillian Russell) became interested in the study of pine trees at an early age. The lad spent many happy hours walking alone through the woods while is father was writing plays and his mother performed on the stage.
When his work on the genus pinus was first published it caused a huge outcry. The book was banned as immoral, not only in Boston but all over the US and Europe (except Sweden).
It seems the public believed the title of the book was not about pine trees at all! The lay public believed the word 'Genus' and the work 'Pinus' were rhyming words...hence the outcry and confusion.
Adding further to the confusion was Chapter 6 of the book, entitled 'Notes on Wood Peckers'.
The Work of Christ
by A. C. Gaebelein
A most interesting and pragmatic companion piece to 'The Passion of Christ'. In 'The Passion of Christ' we learned about Jesus Christ's religious teachings and his efforts to '..take on the sins of world.' and provide eternal life for all '..who believeth in him'.
But in 'The Work of Christ' we learn about Jesus Christ's actual work-a-day duties. His job, if you will, as a carpenter and the skills required to actually put unleaven bread on the table and pay the bills.
In this book you'll learn Jesus's techiniques to:
*Saw wood in a straight line
*Make and use glue
*Market and sell deluxe dining room tables
*Use those scraps of wood to make stylish and functional quill holders
*Discover the key to business success:
(Location-Location-Location)
Simple Sabotage Field Manual
by Strategic Services
During World War II this field manual, they say, was as important as any other factor in our victory over the evil Nazis. Each American and British soldier was given a copy during basic training and was instructed to read it..'cover to cover'.
Some of the simple sabotage techniques:
*Spray cat urine into enemy vehicles
*Release crickets into enemy sleeping quarters
*Extend downward the sides of Hitler's moustache on posters and give him glasses
*Make German potato salad, leave it unrefrigerated for 2 or 3 days, then send to Nazi headquarters with a card saying 'Enjoy!'
*From Sears and Roebuck catalogue, order stylish bra and panty outfits and request delivery to 'Mr. A. Hitler'.
A report on the feasibility and advisability of some policy to inaugurate a system of rifle practice throughout the public schools of the country
by George W. Wingate
George W. Wingate believed only through a well-armed and highly trained citizenry could the United States possible withstand agression and invasion from Europe. Holding a strong belief in this philosophy, Wingate convinced then Secretary of Education J. Walters Eislen to allow him to bring repeating rifles, boxes of ammo, and trained instructors to several public schools in his home state of Vermont.
Wingate's report was tragically never completed however. In the second month of the experiment, a stray rifle bullet from high school sophmore Willis 'Squeeker' Barnstable penetrated the sternum of George W. Wingate, killing him. Witnesses say Wingate's last words were; 'It was that little bastard Squeeker, wasn't it.'
The Atheist's Mass
by Honoré de Balzac
This bit of literature has proven to be a great comfort to me over the years. See, we atheists don't get to do a lot of the fun stuff, like you religious people do.
We just show up to work and do our jobs...Sundays are just another day to work in the yard...our prayers are usually aimed at the Lakers to make this free throw, or to sink a five foot putt...and they usually aren't answered.
When we die, nothing particularly good or bad happens.
But...and this why I'm an atheist...WE ALMOST NEVER HAVE TO GET DRESSED UP.
The Bible, in Swedish, both Testaments
by Anonymous
Very similar to The Bible in English. The main differences are:
*David uses a meatball instead of a rock to slay Goliath
*Baby Moses is found floating in a fjord
*Joseph and Mary ride into Bethlehem on a reindeer
*Jesus is tall, blond, and laconic
*The Last Supper takes place in a ski chalet
Human Foods and Their Nutritive Value
by Harry Snyder
Mr. Harry Snyder of Amarillo, Texas founded the 'Human Food' movement in 1912. Snyder's charisma and engaging writing style actually created a significant but very short-lived boom for the 'Human Food' movement.
In short, Snyder advocated using humans as food. He believed human flesh was the perfect fuel for the human body. He further believed...that proper...preparation of....
I can't go on with this. Thank you Manybooks.net for publishing my whimsical book reviews these past months. You have a wonderful website. Farewell!
What Great Men Have Said About Women
by Various Authors
The first 21 pages include a compilation of love sonnets, love poems, love letters, and such.
The last 48 pages are simply a list of great men who have said;
'Ooooooh-mama, check out the rack on her!'
The Tale of Benny Badger
by Arthur Scott Bailey
A chilling biography of ruthless Mafia enforcer Benjamin 'Benny the Badger' Scalabretti.
Benny the Badger and his partner Ricardo 'Dickie the Deer Mouse' Negrazinni left a bloody trail of corpses and weeping widows through the years 1922-29 in Los Angeles, California.
Scalabretti, in particular, seemed to take great pleasure in making his 'hits' unique and memorable. To wit:
*In April of 1923 he terminated the life of Giovanni 'Gerry the Gerbil' Raspetti by covering him with suet and bird seed and securing him to the ground in Griffith Park where Raspetti was pecked to death by finches.
A chilling book; not one for the kids.
Dave Darrin at Vera Cruz
by H. Irving Hancock
Another of the "Dancin' Dave Darrin" adventure series. In these stories Dave Darrin is the Army's official 'Crooner and Tap Dancer'. He gets stationed only in the most remote and dangerous of war zones, where his duty is to sing, dance, and entertain the troops to keep up their morale.
(In a way, Dave Darrin was the Bob Hope of the World War I era.)
In this particular volume Dancin' Dave is in Vera Cruz, Mexico during the Spanish American war. Isolated from his company and surrounded by fierce Spanish soldiers, Dave must use all of his tap dancing skills to avoid whizzing rifle bullets and return safely to his unit. Not easy to do in the muck and mire of tropical Vera Cruz.
365 Luncheon Dishes
by Anonymous
This cookbook, written in 1904, may be the primary reason the California Condor came very, very close to extinction.
To wit:
Lunch #113: Deviled condor eggs with cucumbers and lentils.
Lunch #130: Fried buttermilk condor with baby red potatoes.
Lunch #202: Pate of condor liver with chantrelle mushroom bisque.
Lunch #314: Condor salad sandwich on whole wheat bread.
Lunch #339: Jellied condor tongue consume with black-footed ferret cutlets.
The Radio Boys on the Mexican Border
by Gerald Breckenridge
Very disappointing. I expected another rousing adventure yarn with Blake, Skipper, and \'Ham-Bone\', the Radio Boys.
What I got was a verbose, dour, Eugene O\'Neill-like psychological drama.
The Radio Boys live in a large boarding house near the shore in New Jersey. Each evening at supper all the borders discuss their personal woes and whine endlessly! One of the borders, from Mexico, tries to liven up the glum mood of the evening meal by playing the guitar and singing rousing tunes. Blake, Skipper and \'Ham-Bone\' sneak into his room and kill him by dropping one of their radios into his bath water.
Trees, Fruits and Flowers of Minnesota, 1916
by Various Authors
These days we're all frightfully worried about 'global warming'. But a simple reading of this book may ease those worries. Climate change is cyclical, as you will find, after reading about the varied agricultural products produced up in the far north...you betcha.
Back in 1916, Minnesota was much, much warmer than it is today. In 1916 Minnesota had an almost sub-tropical climate and was often known as the 'Tangerine Capitol of the World'. There was even a Minnesota mango and banana industry in its infancy.
Of course the sub-tropical climate and crops all radically changed following the Tungurahua volcano eruption of 1919.
Jesus Says So
by Unknown
One of the VERY best tutorials for the Little Leaguer ever written.
Baseball's Jesus Alou (brother of fellow big leaguers Felipe and Matty Alou), sticks to the basics for your youngsters:
*Throwing to the cut-off man
*Hitting to the opposite field
*Bunting
*Fielding grounders
*Adjusting the cup
So if you've got an up-and-coming ball player in the family, be sure they read this book. And if your kid says, 'Why should I throw to the cut-off man?', tell them, it's because 'Jesus Says So'!
An Investigation into the Nature of Black Phthisis
by Archibald Makellar
In the mid-1800s, many coal miners suffered from a disease known as 'Black Phthisis' or Coal Miner's Lung. For many years no one knew what caused this debilitating disease that cut short the life of so many men.
Then, along came Archibald Makellar, an amateur scientist and inventor. Mr. Makellar discovered, through a series of elegant experiments, that Black Phthisis (Coal Miner's Lung) was caused by coal miners working in coal mines and breathing coal dust into their lungs!
Due to the dedicated work of Archibald Makellar, 125 short years later coal miners were given masks to wear to prevent Black Phthisis.
FYI: The word 'Phthisis' comes from the sound coal miners made when coughing up coal dust.
Piano Tuning
by J. Cree Fischer
Strange isn't it..how we're all interconnected.
J. Cree Fischer who wrote this fine book on piano tuning was the wife of Francis Armbrooster Fischer, co-owner of 'Fischer and Fielding's Vaudeville Company'. One of the stars on the Fischer and Fielding circuit was 'Cowboy' Danny Protrero a singing cowboy. Cowboy Danny married Estelle Kiefvaver and had three children; one of them, Beatrice Protrero, married F.S. Homer (my grandfather!).
So in a way, I am connected to this wonderful book. Hope you enjoy it.
The Declaration of Independence of The United States of America
by United States of America
Until recently, the only parts of the Declaration of Independence I had read were the, 'When in the course of human events...' part and the, 'We hold these truths to be self evident..' part.
But there is so much more to this historical document I knew nothing of! I particularly like the edgy limerick about England's King George, written (they say) by Button Gwinnett:
There once was a monarch name George,
Whose ego could fill up a gorge.
Till some angry young Yanks
Told Georgie 'No thanks',
And they booted him off of the porch.
Annals and Reminiscences of Jamaica Plain
by Harriet Manning Whitcomb
Most of us today appreciate and take for granted the various types and gradations of marijuana (weed). But back in the late 1800s there were only a very few types: Acapulco Gold, Hawaiian Mad-dog, Cuban Dynamite, and Jamaican Plain.
Author Harriet Manning Whitcomb (great-great grandmother of NFL quarterbacks Peyton and Eli Manning) was one of early proponents of Jamaica Plain.
With a seemingly effortless cloud of ethereal prose Ms. Whitcomb describes both the effect and the benefits of her favorite brand of what she called 'giggle tobacco'.
CIA Machinations in Chile in 1970
by Kristian C. Gustafson
In 1970, CIA Director Alexander Spielmann made a fateful decision--a decision that reverberates even today.
Spielmann unilaterally decided to machinate in Chile. Prior to 1970, no one from the U.S. had ever machinated in Chile--in fact, machinating was against the law in Chile!
Spielmann went even further. He ordered several of his CIA operatives in Chile to machinate while in public. Agents were machinating in restaurants, bars, libraries, even churches.
Naturally, the government of Chile frowned on the machinating Americans and several were arrested and confined to a soccer stadium where machinators were allowed to machinate in relative privacy.
The American Missionary
by Various Authors
'The American Missionary' was a periodical published from the mid to late 1800s. Each issue offered some very interesting articles on such things as; cultures throughout the world, religious views, cooking and homemaking tips, and who's who in missionary work of the day. Manybooks.net has several of the issues.
I highly recommend this particular issue of 'The American Missionary' because it is the swimsuit edition.
Agriculture for Beginners
by Charles William Burkett
U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt once said, "If you were traveling to another planet and could only take three books with you, 'Agriculture for Beginners' by Charles William Burkett, must be one of the books."
Curiously, President Roosevelt listed these two books as the other two you should take:
*'The Five Little Peppers and How They Grew' by Margaret Sidney
*'Aunt Jane's Nieces Out West' by Edith Van Dyne
(both available for download from Manybooks!)
The Golf Course Mystery
by Chester K. Steele
Something rah-ther sinister has been going on at the Wankerwood Golf and Cricket Club in Upper Norwitch. Young Reginald Smythe-Llewellyn was found on the 17th green skewered with a mashie-niblick and a note reading; 'The partridge has flown from the loo.' pinned to his forehead.
This sounds like a case only amateur detective Lord Bainbridge Giles-Favorsham and his assistant Sunjeet Singh could solve.
An entertaining but somewhat typical British mystery yarn; with one exception...Lord Bainbridge Giles-Favorsham (the amateur detective) is a talking badger and his assistant Sunjeet Singh is a talking Komodo dragon. The rest of the characters are humans.
An Ethical Problem
by Albert Leffingwell
The ethical problem? Should we, humans, use our pets and young children as vessels for our own amusement.
No one can deny the fact that putting sun glasses on a labrador retriever is amusing..even hilarious. No one can deny that putting a fake moustache or a wig on a baby is the same. Making your cat do the Heil Hitler salute...a guaranteed big laugh.
The question is; when we do these hilarious things, is it proper and ethical.
Only you can decide. As for me...I shall continue putting fake antlers on my dog at Christmas.
Home Taxidermy for Pleasure and Profit
by Albert B. Farnham
Actually, two books in one. The first half is a step-by-step guide to taxidermy. What tools are needed, what chemicals, etc. Quite good.
The second half is the daily journal of author Albert B. Farnham, kept for for the year 1946. Some rather disturbing quotes:
'March 23: Today that nosy neighbor came round again. Wanting to borrow some chili powder or so she said. I know what she's up to..oh yes..I know EXACTLY what she's up to. She'll be sorry.
'Aug. 2: A man on the bus was staring at me today..just staring. So I followed him when he got off. Found out where he lives. He'll be sorry.'
'Oct. 17: A census taker came round today. Invited him in..and well..'
The Tale of Dickie Deer Mouse
by Arthur Scott Bailey
This little book can be enjoyed by parents as much as their small children. The kids will enjoy the rambunctious adventures of Dickie the Deer Mouse and his pal Eldridge Elk. Parents will enjoy the hilarious double-entendres, biting political satire, and commentary on popular culture.
Dickie the Deer Mouse and Eldridge Elk have two arch enemies---Igor Eviloff and Natalia Passionoff; two Russian spies who report to their 'Leader with no Fear'.
Sound familiar? Dickie and Eldridge were the models for the 1960s cartoon show Rocky and Bulwinkle.
The Unwritten Literature of the Hopi
by Hattie Green Lockett
I hope this book made Hattie Green Lockett happy.
Once--the Hopi had unwritten literature. But since she wrote it all down in this book, it's no longer unwritten!
Once--a Hopi mother could say; 'My son, let me tell you of Coyote and Bear and their adventures with the north wind.'
'Ah geez, I already know that story Mom. I read it in Hattie Green Lockett's book.'
Way to go, Hattie; thanks for ruining a culture.
The Magic Speech Flower
by Melvin Hix
As a fairly early advocate of the positive medicinal and psychic properties of opium, author Melvin Hix gives us a delightful story, 'The Magic Speech Flower'.
In this story, two young siblings Clark and Fontana Armbrooster come across a wonderful talking flower (an opium poppy). This magic flower tells the kids how to harvest the 'yummy black goodness' found inside the bulb. And how, if eaten will make them '..wise, powerful, and immortal.'
The kids listen to the talking flower and follow his advice. After many ups and downs, Fontana becomes a popular blues singer in a cabaret while Clark learns to play the tenor saxaphone.
FYI: Melvin Hix is the same Melvin Hix we all know from the band 'Melvin Hix and His Hot Lix'.
Men's Sewed Straw Hats
by United States Tariff Commission
A dark and disturbing one act play, set in a sinister and run-down saloon in the border town of Mexicali. Three characters--a retarded cowboy, a double-amputee librarian, and a talking horse--discuss their various problems; all the while drinking tequilla. The cowboy pours the tequilla shots for both the talking horse and double-amputee librarian since neither one has opposable thumbs.
Some sparkling dialogue and memorable phrases ('You ever try to run a library without arms? Well don't!).
Written by the United States Tariff Commission; a profound and welcome change from their usual dry and boring reports on tariffs and stuff.
Chants for Socialists
by William Morris
Pretty clever stuff here. Some of my favorite Socialist chants from this pamphlet:
*Hey, hey--hoe, hoe--we don't want your Capitalist propagan-doe!'
*Fee-Fi-Fo-Farx--We like Engels, we like Marx.''
*Trotsky, Trotsky he's our man; if he can't do it..no one can!'
*Peanuts, popcorn, onion soup---we want a revolution---BOOP BOOP-A-DOOP!'
'What's mine is yours, what's yours is mine--let's eat some cheese and drink some wine!'
The Complete Book of Cheese
by Robert Carlton Brown
The very last word in cheese throughout history.
Some interesting 'Cheese Fun Facts!':
*The great Italian painter and genius Leonardo da Vinci was killed by cheese. While shopping in a cheese shop in Genoa, he accidentally pulled a large gorgonzolla wheel off a shelf and was crushed.
*Leader of the Sioux nation Crazy Horse was not only a fierce warrior and inspirational war chief, he was also a fine chef. He created the first native American cheese; Buffalo Brie.
*Baseball slugger Lou Gehrig often used rounds of Gouda in batting practice.
*During the 1950's, Velvetta was not only the most popular cheese...it was the the 3rd most popular name for girl babies in the U.S.
*Rock icon Jimi Hendrix did not die of a drug overdose. He choked to death while experimenting with aerosol cheese.
Dave Porter at Star Ranch
by Edward Stratemeyer
A rip-roaring cowboy yarn with a decidedly unexpected twist.
Dr. Dave Porter arrives at the rough-and-tumble Star Ranch and is immediately designated a 'dude' and a 'fancy boy'. All the cowboys and wranglers tease him mercilessly.
Until...he successfully treats the painful hemorrhoid condition of cowboy Hank 'Jumbo' Callihan. Then, how all the other cowboys loved and admired him. And he becomes the legendary...DR. DAVE PORTER---FRONTIER PROCTOLOGIST!
Appendicitis
by John H. Tilden
The touching story of a young lad who finds an abandoned and orphaned coatimundi and raises it on his own. Living, as he does, in a fancy high rise penthouse in downtown Manhattan with his widowed Father and an English butler, you can just imagine the high-jinx the boy and his mischievous little pet get into.
The title comes from the fact that the boy gets appendicitis and dies at the end. But the coatimundi is fine.
What Eight Million Women Want
by Rheta Childe Dorr
A charming trip to a by-gone era (1910), when the needs of women were not quite as profound or complex as they seem to be today.
Mrs. Childe-Dorr (what an ironic name, eh?) sent out a brief questionaire to an astounding 10 million American women over the course of three years. She received back 8 million responses. The questionaire merely stated; 'What do you want?' The answers may surprise you. The top five answers to the question 'What do you want?':
5. A new butter churn
4. A bolt of calico fabric
3. New boots for children
2. Modern plow for husband
1. Larger, perkier breasts
Jack Harkaway and his Son's Escape from the Brigands of Greece
by Bracebridge Hemyng
A very average adventure tale that somehow was turned into an extra-ordinary movie in the 1930's. Starring Lesley Howard as Jack Harkaway and Freddie Bartholomew as his son Reggie Harkaway, the movie won Best Picture of the Year-1933; beating out such other classic films as 'Grand Hotel', 'The Champ', 'How Cold Were My Nuts', and 'She Won't Let Me Polka'.
Obviously, the original title would not fit on movie marquees, so the title of the film was changed to 'Swimming in Greece'.
Project Trinity, Official U.S. Government Report
by Anonymous
Known at the time by only a very few high ranking individuals in the U.S. government, Project Trinity might possibly have made profound and long-lasting changes to western civilization had adequate funding been allocated by Congress.
Project Trinity hoped to develop an invisible car..and in fact DID develop a functional and invisible four-seater car. But just as production on the 'Clearesta XT5' invisible automobile had begun, Congress voted to cut off all further funding and moved on to fund the Space Program.
Just imagine what our busy highways and freeways would look like today, if only the 'Clearesta XT5' had been mass produced!
Sixty Years of California Song
by Margaret Blake-Alverson
According the author Mrs. Blake-Alverson, these are the top ten songs from California of all time (a list I strongly disagree with!):
10. Good Vibrations-The Beach Boys
9. Oh Oxnard, We Love You-Reginald Blake-Alverson
8. I Left My Heart in San Francisco-Tony Bennett (Cory/Ross)
7. Manteca, the Gateway to Fresno-Reginald Blake-Alverson
6. Light My Fire-The Doors
5. California Dreamin'-Mamas and the Papas
4. Bakersfield Fanfaire-Reginald Blake-Alverson
3. San Fernando Etude and Variation-Reginald Blake-Alverson
2. Last Train to Clarksville-The Monkees
1. Modesto March of Progress-Reginald Blake-Alverson
Seems Mrs. Margaret Blake-Alverson is somewhat biased toward the music of her son, Reginald.
The Story of Crisco
by Marion Harris Neil
Who knew that a book chronicling the history of Crisco would be so very fascinating. From Crisco's humble beginnings in the stockyards of Paris where it was used as mortar for bricks in the famous Parisian sewer system; to Loretta Lynn's favorite 'Butter-flavored Crisco' we all love on our morning toast...Crisco has serrved as a greasy looking-glass on western culture.
Some Crisco Fun Facts!
*If all the Crisco ever produced were put into the Grand Canyon, the views would be seriously compromised.
*President Ronald Reagan never left the house without a thin coating of Crisco on his inner thighs.
*Renowned French Chef Jean Philipe DelaCroix ate Crisco by the spoonful but used it only sparingly in his dishes.
*The original name of Crisco was 'Render Residue'.
*Our original Apollo astronauts took a powdered form of Crisco with them into space. No one knows why.
Komik und Humor
by Theodor Lipps
No one EVER wrote about humor and comedy like the great German stand-up comedian of the 18th century, Theodor 'Teddy' Lipps.
They say Teddy Lipps could keep an entire theater of people rolling in the aisles for hours on end with such jokes as:
'Two sausages were talking. One says, "I taste the best." The other sausage says, 'That's too bad...I taste the wurst."'
This book will keep you in stiches!
How to Camp Out
by John M. Gould
Who knew camping out was so popular back in the 1870s! This short book offers several helpful camping hints, many useful today.
One very interesting fact. Back in the early days when this book was written, there were no graham crackers, marshmallows, or Hershey's chocolate. And so--the recipe for campfire S'mores was quite different:
*Take one piece of beef jerky
*Place a small turnip on it.
*Cover with another piece of beef jerky
*Spear it with a sharp stick
*Roast over the campfire until melty
*Enjoy!
The Witchcraft Delusion in Colonial Connecticut (1647-1697)
by John M. Taylor
A colorful and interesting description of a very curious time in U.S. history.
The good people of Connecticut somehow became convinced that a series of strange and bizarre events were caused by Witches.
People in that era were certainly naive, superstitious, and foolish! Today, we all know that most strange and bizarre events are caused by Wizards and Wizardesses..and sometimes Zombies.
A Practical Guide to Self-Hypnosis
by Melvin Powers
This book shows you what a difference a few decades can make. Back in 1961 folks apparently had different hyponisis needs than they do these days.
From chapter six:
*Self-Hypnosis to Start Smoking
'Not everyone finds it easy to start smoking. The first few weeks of smoking can be difficult--and not just for teens and women--even for some grown men! But by using my simple self-hypnosis techniques, I guarantee you'll become a heavy smoker in just hours.'
Captured by the Navajos
by Charles A. Curtis
An engaging tale of two young brothers who run away from their dull boarding school lives, in search of excitement and high adventures. The lads choose to live with a band of Navajo Indians; with hopes of riding horses, bison hunting, and other boy-imagined fantasies.
Reality soon hits the boys like a ton of bricks when they find themselves selling blankets, dolls, and jewelry in a souvenir shop on Route 66, for a 4% commission with no healthcare coverage, sick leave, or paid vacation.
Electricity for Boys
by J.S. Zerbe
The thesis of Mr. Zerbe's odd little pamphlet advocates running low levels of electricity through young boys from age 3 to age 17.
Why? Zerbe believed this electric current would stimulate growth and '...promote a robust physique.' Zerbe wanted to create '..an Army of gigantic and muscular American males able to serve our nation during times of war.' He further believed during times of peace, '..such an Army could be used in the sporting arts; in particular American Football.'
How absurd...or is it?
Two Trips to Gorilla Land and the Cataracts of the Congo, vol 1
by Richard Burton
Who knew one of our greatest Shakespearean and film actors was also such a brave adventurer!
I was amazed at Richard Burton's bravery in such a primitive and remote location as the Congo. I especially enjoyed the chapter where Burton and pals performed delicate cataract surgery on the eyes of gorillas, using only minimal anesthesia.
Curious..not one mention of Liz Taylor. Maybe in Volume 2; will report.
The Life, Public Services and Select Speeches of Rutherford B. Hayes
by James Quay Howard
Quite right Marc..good spot!
President Hayes' second wife Carmelita actually ran the U.S. government for only 18 months; not the full two years, as I stated.
Ezekiel Crevlok, the White House pastry chef filled in for the ailing President Hayes durning his last six months of his Presidency.
I apologize to the Manybooks readers and will be more careful and accurate in the future.
The Submarine Boys and the Spies
by Victor G. Durham
Number 4 in the 'The Submarine Boys' series. This volume proved to be a great departure from the traditional wholesome storyline.
We still find Reggie, Blake, and Squeaker (the Submarine Boys) seeking adventure and high times. But in this tale, Blake has betrayed his chums Reggie and Squeaker and becomes the right-hand man of the evil Count Crevlok.
Reggie and Blake square off in a climactic hatchet fight to the death, while Squeaker is grotesquely scarred by thown acid.
Much, much darker than the usual tale of the boys.
Rational Horse-Shoeing
by John E. Russell
This pamphlet was actually John E. Russell's second work; written in response to the negative reviews of his first work, 'Irrational Horse-Shoeing'.
In the 'Irrational Horse-Shoeing' pamphlet Russell recommended such techniques as:
*Horse-Shoeing While Drunk
*Horse-Shoeing Blindfolded
*Horse-Shoeing Your Dog
With 'Rational Horse-Shoeing' Russell returned to the more traditional and effective shoeing techniques we know and use today.
Casanovas Heimfahrt
by Arthur Schnitzler
'Casanovas Heimfahrt' was a great German lover and swordsman. His exploits in the bedroom and on the field of honor are offered in this book.
Heimfahrt was involved in 56 duels during his life! None of the duels involved his love trists however. All the duels were precipitated from other guys teasing him about his last name.
'BBBRRRRTTT'
'Hey who did that?'
'Must be Heir Heimfahrt.'
'I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL.'
Who among us could blame him?
The Life, Public Services and Select Speeches of Rutherford B. Hayes
by James Quay Howard
Certainly not one of our better known Presidents, Rutherford B. Hayes was a man of great accomplishment. Some interesting facts:
*Hayes invented Tetherball and wrote the original rule book, still in use today.
*He imported the first tequilla into the U.S. during his administration. Tequilla Shooters were served during all White House events, including the annual Easter Egg Roll.
*President Hayes' second wife, Carmelita Hayes, was our only First Lady who did not speak English; was a minor; and who had mulitple tattooes. When Hayes had a debilitating stroke during his second year in office, Carmelita effectively ran the Governement for the remaining two years of his term.
I hope Manybooks.net will add 'The Rules of Tetherball' to their vast library in the future.
The Tale of Timothy Turtle
by Arthur Scott Bailey
In the 1920s, the Socialist/Workers' movement was going strong. 'The Tale of Timothy Turtle', written for children, was actually a propaganda piece for the Socialist Workers Party.
Timothy Turtle works as a common laborer in huge factory run by J. P. Snappington, a wealthy and powerful industrialist Snapping Turtle.
Eventually, Timothy and his pals Travis Tortoise, Lizzie Lizard, and Fremont Frog revolt; they throw off the bonds of the tyrant capitalists and put the factory under common control by all the animals.
The four pals then move into an animal commune where they share the sexual favors of Lizzie Lizard.
Guano
by Solon Robinson
'Guano' may be the earliest of the 'rebel cop' genre of action adventure stories.
Johnny Guano works for the Pinkerton Detective Agency in Baltimore around the turn of the century. Guano lives by his own set of rules but always seems to get the bad guy...and the girl.
Guano is regularly reprimanded by his boss, Captain Waterford, for his rebelious law enforcement methods. But at the end of the day, Waterford admires and respects Guano.
Frank and Fanny
by Mrs. Clara Moreton
As most are aware, 'Mrs. Clara Moreton' was the nom de plume of General Dwight D. Eisenhower. General Eisenhower wrote the 'Frank and Fanny' book series during brief periods of repose while winning World War II. 'Frank and Fanny' remains a classic of childhood literature.
'Frank' is a mischevious and very fast moving little bunny rabbit--prone to wandering off from the safety of his warren and family. 'Fanny' is an ill-tempered and half-starved coyote who wants nothing more than to catch, kill, and eat little 'Frank'.
If this sound familiar, it should! 'Frank and Fanny' are the basis of the 'Roadrunner and Coyote' cartoons from Warner Brothers Studios. General Eisenhower sold the rights to 'Frank and Fanny' to the Warner Brothers for $250,000! With that money he was able to sucessfully run for President.
Venereal Diseases in New Zealand (1922)
by Committee of the Board of Health
Only one real nugget of interest in this publication.
In 1921 the New Zealand Board of Health filled Wormsley Stadium with 20,000 New Zealanders, to get an estimate on the prevalance of STDs among the population.
Over the stadium loud speaker came this request to the 20,000; 'If you have ever had a venereal disease, clap your hands now.'
From that day to this...gonorrhea has been known as 'the clap'.
Little Mr. Thimblefinger and His Queer Country
by Joel Chandler Harris
This book, though enjoyable, was NOTHING like what I was expecting.
Celtic Literature
by Matthew Arnold
Much of the included literature is pedantic and amateurish--'Ode to Red Auerbach' by Tom Heinson, 'Parque Floor Sonnets' by K.C. Jones, 'Ace McFale Wins the Day!' by Kevin McHale, being three examples you may wish to avoid.
But the work of Robert Parrish is absolutely ethereal! Written under the pen name 'Robert Pinsky' Parrish's poems, essays, and short stories make this book a must read.
Also look for these other books in the series:
*Laker Literature
*76er Literature
*Nugget Literature
My Pet Recipes, Tried and True
by Various Authors
I strongly discourage the squeamish from reading this book--especially if you own or have owned pets. But if you can get past the idea of using pets as food, there are some very good recipes. Some of my favorites:
*Persian Pie
*Braised Labrador with Leeks
*Corgi Cutlets with Hazelnut Crust
*Budgerigar Almondine with Parsnips
*Weiner Dogs
We must remember, this book was written back in 1800's; things were different then.
Animal Heroes
by Ernest Thompson Seton
What an unexpected pleasure! Mr. Seton shares some astounding and charming animal stories for children of all ages. I especially enjoyed, 'Chappy, the Brave Little Coatimundi'.
While in Cuba, Theodore Roosevelt adopted Chappy the Coatimundi as a pet. The energetic animal followed T.R. everywhere..even into the Battle of San Juan Hill. Roosevelt used Chappy and his needle-sharp teeth as a weapon during the battle; throwing Chappy onto the face of enemy combatants. Chappy would sink his teeth into the Adam's Apple of opposing soldiers..compromising their breathing and often hitting a vital artery.
I won't spoil what finally happened to Chappy, but next time in Washinton D.C. be sure to see the memorial statue of the brave little coatimundi in the Capitol Rotunda.
The House Fly and How to Suppress It
by F.C. Bishop
F.C. Bishop's pamphlet, though a good read, is a great disappointment for those of us who have a serious house fly problem.
Bishop believed 'mind control' was the way to suppress the house fly. 'I have found..' says Bishop; '..that I can actually control house flies with the power of my mind.'
Bishop goes on to give examples of this power. 'On one particularly muggy afternoon, I aligned several dozen house flies on the wall of my parlor, spelling out "BISHOP IS GOD!". I then killed them..dead.'
So, if you're looking for practical advice on house fly suppression, better look elsewhere.
Chess and Checkers: The Way to Mastership
by Edward Lasker
Until reading this book I considered myself if not a Checkers Master, at least a checkers expert. But Master Lasker (as I call him) showed me how little I really knew about winning at checkers.
The book combines basic checkers strategy with Sun Tse's 'The Art of War'. To wit:
'When you find yourself in an un-winnable position..'accidentally' hit the board with your knee, knocking the checkers willy-nilly. Then say to your opponent, "Oops--sorry. Shall we start over?"'
Didn't read the chapters on chess. Chess is too complicated.
Northern Nut Growers Association, report of the proceedings at the sixth annual meeting
by Northern Nut Growers Association
I'm a BIG fan of all the 'Northern Nut Growers...' books. Each one of the series brings some new insight into nut culture.
This report, in particular, offers a vivid description of the 'Big Freeze of 1914', wherein almost everyone in Pennsylvania froze their nuts. The book was the basis for the 1922 silent film classic, 'How Cold Were My Nuts'; starring Wallace Beery, Gloria Swanson, and 'Waggy' the Wonder Dog.
King of Fang and Claw
by Bob Byrd
If Tarzan is a tequilla sunrise..Ka-Zar is a straight shot of tequilla. Imagine a ripping good Tarzan story without all the internal strife, personal conflict, and romantic interludes; but..with all the jungle perils and knife-play.
All boys and most men should read this book.
Man of Many Minds
by E. Everett Evans
Tons of fun! Lt. Hanlon, if he wanted to, could have made a flat-out fortune with performing animals in Las Vegas or on TV.
'Hanlon's Sophisticated Lemurs!' on Ed Sullivan, tonight at 8pm on CBS.
All boys and most men should read this book.
Space Prison
by Tom Godwin
What a wonderful story! Relayed in a very unemotional, unsentimental style. A good lesson to be learned, as well. Thinning the herd leads to a stronger herd, in the long run.
The Gerns aren't like Nazis! They're like bad Klingons.
Rebels of the Red Planet
by Charles Louis Fontenay
A ripping good space yarn. Some similarity to 'Total Recall':
>Takes place on a newly colonized Mars
>A wealthy and powerful powerful company vs. rag-tag rebels
>An attactive yet dangerous heroine.
Also includes a feature I always enjoy in 50's, 60's, and 70's sci-fi. They smoke cigarettes! (Example; not from this book)
Star Pilot Kral Drevl relaxed after landing his cruiser on Asteroid X-242 and lit a cigarette. He blew out a long stream of blue smoke into the cabin of the cruiser.
'Hey.' said the busty blue-skinned Princess Qwillia. 'How about giving me one of those.'
'Sure baby, sure.' replied Kral, lighting it for her.