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Reviews by vedus


by Moxie Mezcal

There's a frantic, almost desperate, nature to the writing that is compelling. It sets a rhythm separate from the narrative itself and compels you to continue reading. It's also a detriment as the frenetic nature of the writing appears to be in part to how raw it is. Stumbling across those errors that a spell checker just doesn't catch is off putting and always pulls me out of the page. Another reminder of the trend of many creative commons licensed materials missing comprehensive proofing and editing.

The length is it's best friend in this case. The story and it's method of delivery have great potential to become tedious against a high page count. It unfolds from the different perspectives of the main characters through what is essentially a first person confessional. It's an interesting delivery and adds to what is a fundamentally simple story. Just, in this case, fairly well told. There's the gritty, underhanded, and vengeful nestled right alongside a bit of the serendipitous.

I enjoyed this particular work and plan to move on to some of the authors other offerings in the future.

Reviewed on 2010.03.19

Soul View

by Jeff Inlo

I find almost without fail that the Creative Commons licensed books I pick up are overly long and in need of a strong editor. This one was no exception. In some respects it feels more like a rambling, unrefined journal than a novel.

There are some interesting things going on in this book and despite very little action, it's almost exclusively monologues and conversations, it does keep you going. The dialogue itself, of which there is quite a bit, feels largely unnatural. It the major stumbling block I had working through this book. It's a very on the nose style of delivery and a distinct voice between the two primary characters is missing.

It doesn't feel finished. Not in that the story doesn't resolve, it does, but in the sense that steps were dropped in bringing this to the complete story that it could have been. A merciless editor could have done well to strengthen this book. It was interesting but could have been a lot more.

If you enjoy the writing but the story doesn't grab you try Inlo's Alien Cradle instead. It felt like a more complete read to me.

Reviewed on 2010.03.17

Sweet Dream, Silver Screen

by Moxie Mezcal

This is a largely unrefined story that could have benefited from a good editor and a merciless rewrite. It's interesting but mostly as a patchwork of isolated ideas and borrowed materials. There is pulp potential here that is never reached despite pulling some gritty moments. It comes together awkwardly and is in desperate need of a proofreader.

That said, I'm intrigued by the writing as a whole and would like to see future works from this author.

Reviewed on 2010.02.16


by Ryan Grabow

Very few instances of picking up this book did I find I was engrossed in the material and largely just pushed through the page count. It became a chore to read. I nearly walked away from it several times but continued to slug through. While I don't regret continuing I don't feel I gained anything from the book.

There are the inklings of a solid read in here mired underneath tedious philosophical asides. As the book descends in religious banter between two characters it drags to a crawl. Unmercifully over long, this could have been streamlined in to a much better read.

Reviewed on 2010.02.12

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