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Oh! Susannah!

A Farcical Comedy in Three Acts

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Author: Mark Ambient
Published: 1905
Language: English
Wordcount: 21,842 / 79 pg
Flesch-Kincaid Reading Ease: 89.1
LoC Category: PN
Downloads: 478
Added to site: 2007.06.13
mnybks.net#: 17310
Origin: gutenberg.org
Genres: Drama, Humor
Excerpt

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Plant., (aside) "Poor fellow!" He'll be rich enough before the day's out. It's hard not to tell one's own daughter--but I mustn't betray a professional confidence.

Tupper. (aside) Fine gels! (to Ruby) 'E'll be wonderful glad to see you, Miss.

Ruby. How do you know?

Tupper. 'Cos 'e's settin' up as a ladies' Doctor. miss, an' you're the fust callers we've ever 'ad. (aside) Bar the tailor.

Ruby. The first? (to Pearl) He is starving!

Aurora. Oh, 'e'll cure yer, whatever yer got. (crosses to Plant) He's wonderful clever. 'E'd see through you, sir, weskit an' all. 'E don't hax no hex rays to tell 'im. (to Ruby) 'E knows all what's goin' on in yer innards----

Plant. Ahem! That will do. Er--no doubt, no doubt.

Tupper. No bloomin' doubt, sir. (going to him) But I do 'ope you'll pay afore leavin'--'cos it's Lady Day, an these 'ere clothes ain't paid for yet--an' if they ain't-

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Simon Clark
Simon Clark lives in Doncaster, South Yorkshire and his stories have been published in Darklands 2, Dark Voices 5 and The Year's Best Horror Stories. His work has been broadcast on BBC Radio 4 and he has also written some prose for U2. In his latest horror novel, Vampyrrhic, Clark brought horrific viking warriors from long ago to the shores of England in the form of undead vampires. As our Author of the Day, he tells us all about it.
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