Please note - illustrations are not available in this version. For images, please see this title at Project Gutenberg.
[Illustration: Happy Memories of the Zoo.
"What Time do they Feed the Sea-Lions, Alf?"]
"'Ave a squint through these 'ere, Bill; you can see one of the ----'s eatin' a sausage as clear as anythin'."]
[Illustration: Immediate and Important!
Never has Private Smith's face felt so large and smooth as when he hands his Captain the following message at what he feels is an unsuitable moment: "The G.O.C. notices with regret the tendency of all ranks to shave the upper lip. This practice must cease forthwith."]
[Illustration: Sir Plantagenet Smythe, at the battle of VIN ORDINAIRE "On! On! ye Noble English!"
2nd Lieut. P. Smith, at the taking of "dead-pig" farm "Come on you chaps! We'll show these ----s Which side their ---- bread's buttered!"
Other Times, Other Manners.
The Decline of Poetry and Romance in War.]
[Illustration: His Dual Obsession.
Owing to the frequent recurrence of this dream,