The Purple Cow!

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Author: Gelett Burgess
Published: 1899
Language: English
Wordcount: 5,481 / 23 pg
Flesch-Kincaid Reading Ease: 85.7
LoC Category: PZ
Downloads: 855
Added to site: 2009.12.13
mnybks.net#: 26011
Origin: gutenberg.org
Excerpt

They was almost dead, it tired 'em so,
An' Will druv a splinter into his toe!
An' all this time both Pinkie Jane
An' Huldy was workin' with might an' main,
A-shuttin' the doors, an' the windows too,
An' stoppin' up cracks where the leaks come through.
An' when it was tight, she slipped inside
An' turned the gas on good an' wide!
An' she screamed, "Look out that you don't get smothered: Climb up on the roof where I won't be bothered!"

When the house filled up with the gas inside,
It trembled an' jiggled from side to side;
An' when the gas filled it good an' full
The ole foundations began to pull;
Then Huldy she pushed it a little mite,
An' the house riz up in the air all right!
An' it riz an' riz like a ole balloon.
An' Ann got aboard of it none too soon;
For it flew away off up into the sky
With her holdin' on by her hands--Oh my!
But she clum on top, an' you'd oughter have seen
Them workin' that wheel like a flyin' machine

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