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Mr. Dooley in Peace and in War

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Published: 1898
Language: English
Wordcount: 46,254 / 129 pg
Flesch-Kincaid Reading Ease: 90.5
LoC Category: PS
Downloads: 369
Added to site: 2007.09.09 18153

On Diplomacy.--On War Preparations.--On Fitz-Hugh Lee.--On Mules and Others.--On His Cousin George.--On Some Army Appointments.--On Strategy.--On General Miles's Moonlight Excursion.--On Admiral Dewey's Activity.--On the Philippines.--On Prayers for Victory.--On the Anglo-Saxon.--On a Letter from the Front.--On Our Cuban Allies.--On the Destruction of Cervera's Fleet.--On a Letter to Mr. Depew.--On the President's Cat.--On a Speech by President McKinley.--On the Hero in Politics.--On New Year's Resolutions.--On Gold-seeking.--On Books.--On Reform Candidates.--On Paternal Duty.--On Criminals.--On a Plot.--On the New Woman.--On Expert Testimony.--On the Popularity of Firemen.--On the Game of Football.--On the Necessity of Modesty among the Rich.--On the Power of Love.--On the Victorian Era.--On the Currency Question.--On Political Parades.--On Charity.--On Nansen.--On a Populist Convention.--On a Family Reunion.--On a Famous Wedding.--On a Quarrel between England and Germany.--On Oratory in Politics.--On Christmas Gifts.--On Anarchists.--On the Dreyfus Case.--On the Decadence of Greece.--On the Indian War.--On Golf.--On the French Character.

Show Excerpt

e with thim two names? They'se pothry in both iv thim. Fitz-Hugh Lee! Did ye iver see a pitcher iv him? A fat ma-an, with a head like a football an' a neck big enough to pump blood into his brain an' keep it fr'm starvin'. White-haired an' r-red-faced. Th' kind iv ma-an that can get mad in ivry vein in his body. Whin he's hot, I bet ye his face looks like a fire in a furniture facthry. Whin a ma-an goes pale with r-rage, look out f'r a knife in th' back. But, whin he flames up so that th' perspi-ration sizzles on his brow, look out f'r hand an' feet an' head an' coupling pins an' rapid-firin' guns. Fitz can be ca'm whin they'se annything to be ca'm about, but he can't wait. If he was a waiter, he'd be wurrukin' at th' thrade. Look at th' jaw iv him! It's like a paving block.

"Does Fitz believe in di-plomacy? Not him. He sets there in his office in Havana, smokin' a good see-gar, an' a boy comes in an' tells him they've jugged an American citizen. He jams his hat down on his eyes, an' r-rushes over to w



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