The Funniest Book of the Age.
nty-monoperlist ticket. Jest before dinner the edittur told me to tell the make-up man to kill Lawrence Rickard. Now, his store is ware my pa buys all his groseries, and his wife and ma's orful good chums, and b'long to the same sewin' sircle. Mr. Rickard alwus treeted me rite, and I didn't like to see a cupple of bludthursty villanes kill him without givin' him tim to say his prayers, so I called inter his store and told him he'd better skip out or lay lo, cos the edittur was orful mad at him, and had ordered a nuther feller to kill him. He sed he'd fix 'em. So rite after dinner a cupple of perlice cum up to the offis and arrested Mr. Gilley and the make-up man for conspiracy to murder, and they had to xplane it, and pay all the costs.
I took a littel vacashun this afternoon, and went out fishin', cos I remembured wot pa says after he's kissed ma by telerfone,
"Distance lends enchantment to the vue."
So I thot them two bad men wyld be more enchanted with me if I kep at a safe distance. I