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Mr. Punch's After-Dinner Stories

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Author: J.M. Hammerton
Language: English
Wordcount: 13,036 / 52 pg
Flesch-Kincaid Reading Ease: 79.9
LoC Category: PR
Downloads: 634
Added to site: 2010.10.02
mnybks.net#: 29150
Origin: gutenberg.org
Genre: Humor
Excerpt

m>Improvised Butler (to distinguished guest). "Will ye take anny more drink, sor?"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: First Customer. "Waiter, a fried sole."

Second Customer. "Bring me a fried sole, too, waiter--and mind it is fresh."

Waiter. "Two fried soles--one fresh!"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: AFTER MANY YEARS!--Country Parson (to distinguished Peer, who has been making THE speech of the evening). "How d'ye do, my lord? I see you don't quite remember me." Distinguished Peer. "Well--er--not altogether." C. P. "We were members of the same club at Oxford." D. P. (with awakening interest). "Oh--ah! Let me see--which club was that?" C. P. "The--er--Toilet Club, you know!"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID

She. "We expected you to dinner last night, Herr Professor. We waited half an hour for you.

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