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The Love Sonnets of a Car Conductor

Cover image for


Author: Wallace Irwin
Published: 1908
Language: English
Wordcount: 4,347 / 20 pg
Flesch-Kincaid Reading Ease: 91.4
LoC Category: PN
Downloads: 553 3872
Genre: Poetry

to home?
This travel-sickness is a danger which
Keeps hoboes poor and corporations rich.


Today I piped my future Ma-in-law.
She got aboard my Pullman and she scared
Three babies into fits the way she glared.
Rattle my baggage if I ever saw
A cracker-box to equal Mother's jaw,
A hardwood-finish face all nailed and squared.
She ossified the gripman when she stared -
And me? Well, I was overcame with awe.

But, being Pansy's Ma, 't was up to me
To hand her something pit-a-pat and swell,
And so I says, "Hello, Queen Cherokee!
What ho! for Pansy? hope she's feeling well."
And Ma responds, a trifle tart but game,
"She minds her bizness - hope you feel the same."


I don't think Mother chalked me out to win,
To be the steady of her darling child.
She thinks I am a kick-up, something wild,
And no sweet girl should wear my college pin.
She thinks I'm some too piffly with my



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