Love Sonnets of an Office Boy

When I set up and looked around, at last
That long-legged, homely clerk was there, and so
He had her finger in his mouth, and, oh,
I'll bet you I'd 'a' kicked him if I dast!
I never seen the beat the way things go
When there's a chance for me to stand a show.

XXIV.

That homely clerk took her out for a ride
Last Sunday in a buggy, and they rode
Around all through the parks; I wisht I'd knowed
About it, and the horse would kind of shied,
And then got scared and run and kicked, and I'd
Of been a piece ahead and saw him jump
And leave her hangin' on alone, the chump,
And she'd of been so 'fraid she'd nearly died.

Then I'd of give a spring and caught the bit,
And landed on the horse's back, where all
The people there could see me doin' it,
And when I got her saved the crowd would call
Three cheers for me, and then she'd come and fall
Against my buzzum, and he'd have a fit.