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My Roomy

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Author: Ring Lardner
Published: 1914
Language: English
Wordcount: 8,327 / 22 pg
Flesch-Kincaid Reading Ease: 97.5
LoC Category: PS
Downloads: 1,014
Added to site: 2007.07.13
mnybks.net#: 17623
Genres: Short Story, Humor
Excerpt

was gettin' trimmed or he never would have no pay day. Then he got confidential.

"Pay day wouldn't do me no good," he says. "When I'm all squared up with the club and begin to have a pay day I'll only get a hundred bucks at a time, and I'll owe that to some o' you fellers. I wisht we could win the pennant and get in on that World's Series dough. Then I'd get a bunch at once."

"What would you do with a bunch o' dough?" I ast him.

"Don't tell nobody, sport," he says; "but if I ever get five hundred at once I'm goin' to get married."

"Oh!" I says. "And who's the lucky girl?"

"She's a girl up in Muskegon," says Elliott; "and you're right when you call her lucky."

"You don't like yourself much, do you?" I says.

"I got reason to like myself," says he. "You'd like yourself, too, if you could hit 'em like me."

"Well," I says. "you didn't show me no hittin' to-day."

"I couldn't hit because I was laughin' too hard," says Elliott.

"What was it you was

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Simon Clark
Simon Clark lives in Doncaster, South Yorkshire and his stories have been published in Darklands 2, Dark Voices 5 and The Year's Best Horror Stories. His work has been broadcast on BBC Radio 4 and he has also written some prose for U2. In his latest horror novel, Vampyrrhic, Clark brought horrific viking warriors from long ago to the shores of England in the form of undead vampires. As our Author of the Day, he tells us all about it.
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