All the world's a stage, so there was room even for this bad actor ... only he intended to direct it!
"I got t'hanging 'round with this here buncha actors while y'were gone," Ivo said. "They say mumbling's the comin' thing. 'Sides, y'kept yapping that I declaimed, so--"
"But you don't have to go to the opposite extreme and--Ivo!" Incredulously, Paul took in the full details of the other's appearance. "What happened to your Brooks Brothers' suits?"
"Hung 'em inna closet," Ivo replied, looking abashed. "I did wear one las' night, though," he went on defensively. "Wooden come dressed like this to y'opening. But all the other fellas wear blue jeans 'n leather jackets. I mean, hell, I gotta conform more'n anybody. Y'know that, Paul."
"And--" Paul sat bolt upright; this was the supreme outrage--"you've changed yourself! You've gotten younger!"
"This is an age of yout'," Ivo mumbled. "An' I figured I was 'bout ready for improvisation, like you said."
"Look, Ivo, if you really want to go on the stage----"
"Hell, I don' wanna be no actor!" I
A shape-changer from Sirius, on Earth to discover our defenses before the invasion, hires and out-of-work actor to teach him how to pass as human. Unfortunately, world conquest isn't the only thing on the alien's mind.
Not a bad story for anyone who has known stage actors. It has some funny parts.