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Extract from Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven

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Author: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
Language: English
Wordcount: 15,239 / 48 pg
Flesch-Kincaid Reading Ease: 85.9
LoC Category: PS
Downloads: 3,204
mnybks.net#: 7037
Excerpt

hy I didn't get under way. I couldn't stand this long--it was too uncomfortable. So at last I plucked up courage and tipped the head clerk a signal. He says--

"What! you here yet? What's wanting?"

Says I, in a low voice and very confidential, making a trumpet with my hands at his ear--

"I beg pardon, and you mustn't mind my reminding you, and seeming to meddle, but hain't you forgot something?"

He studied a second, and says--

"Forgot something? . . . No, not that I know of."

"Think," says I.

He thought. Then he says--

"No, I can't seem to have forgot anything. What is it?"

"Look at me," says I, "look me all over."

He done it.

"Well?" says he.

"Well," says I, "you don't notice anything? If I branched out amongst the elect looking like this, wouldn't I attract considerable attention?--wouldn't I be a little conspicuous?"

"Well," he says, "I don't see anything the matter. What do you lack?"

"Lack! Why, I lack my harp, and my wreath, and my halo, and my hymn-book

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