The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VI

Author: Various Authors
Published: 1907
Language: English
Wordcount: 56,913 / 165 pg
Flesch-Kincaid Reading Ease: 96.2
LoC Category: PS
Downloads: 592
Added to site: 2006.09.19
mnybks.net#: 14261
Origin: gutenberg.org
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Abou Ben Butler, by Paul -- The Advertiser, by Field -- After the Funeral, by Bailey -- The Apostasy of William Dodge, by Waterloo -- The Ballad of Grizzly Gulch, by Irwin -- Banty Tim, by Hay -- The Bear Story, by Riley -- The Book-Canvasser, by Anonymous -- A Bully Boat and a Brag Captain, by Smith -- The Bumblebeaver, by Cox -- Casey at the Bat, by Thayer -- Chad's Story of the Goose, by Smith -- Colonel Carter's Story of the Postmaster, by Smith -- Comic Miseries, by Saxe -- The Coquette, by Saxe -- De Gradual Commence, by Amsbary -- Evening, by Holmes -- The Fairport Art Museum, by Thanet -- The Famous Mulligan Ball, by Stanton -- The Genial Idiot Discusses the Music Cure, by Bangs -- Grains of Truth, by Nye -- Her Valentine, by Hovey -- It Pays to be Happy, by Masson -- James and Reginald, by Field -- Jones, by Osbourne -- Latter-Day Warnings, by Holmes -- Lost Chords, by Field -- Love Sonnets of an Office Boy, by Kiser -- The Martyrdom of Mr. Stevens, by Quick -- The Merchant and the Book-Agent, by Anonymous -- The Modern Farmer, by Appleton -- The Mosquito, by Bryant -- Mr. Dooley on the Game of Football, by Dunne -- My First Cigar, by Burdette -- My Philosofy, by Riley -- The Octopussycat, by Cox -- The Old Settler, by Mott -- The Owl-Critic, by Fields -- The Paintermine, by Cox -- Shonny Schwartz, by Adams -- The Society Upon the Stanislaus, by Harte -- So Wags the World, by Warner -- A Spring Feeling, by Carman -- The Talking Horse, by McIntyre -- The Thompson Street Poker Club, by Carleton -- Thoughts fer the Discuraged Farmer, by Riley -- "Tiddle-iddle-iddle-iddle-bum! bum!", by Nesbit -- Unconscious Humor, by Wetherell -- Up and Down Old Brandywine, by Riley -- Verre Definite, by Amsbary -- Wasted Opportunities, by Greene -- The Weddin', by Hartswick -- The Welsh Rabbittern, by Cox -- When the Allegash Drive Goes Through, by Day -- The Wild Boarder, by Cox. Edited by Marshall P. Wilder

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in dem days. She come into de kitchen one time where I was helpin' git de dinner ready, an' de cook had gone to de spring house, an' she says:

"'Chad, what ye cookin' dat smells so nice?'

"'Dat's a goose,' I says, 'cookin' for Marsa John's dinner. We got quality,' says I, pointin' to de dinin'-room do'.

"'Quality!' she says. 'Spec' I know what de quality is. Dat's for you an' de cook.'

"Wid dat she grabs a caarvin' knife from de table, opens de do' ob de big oven, cuts off a leg ob de goose, an' dis'pears round de kitchen corner wid de leg in her mouf.

"'Fo' I knowed whar I was Marsa John come to de kitchen do' an' says, 'Gittin' late, Chad; bring in de dinner.' You see, Major, dey ain't no up an' down stairs in de big house, like it is yer; kitchen an' dinin'-room all on de same flo'.

"Well, sah, I was scared to def, but I tuk dat goose an' laid him wid de cut side down on de bottom of de pan 'fo' de cook got back, put some dressin' an' stuffin' ober him, an' shet de

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