Mr Hawkins' Humorous Adventures
Mr Hawkins' Humorous Adventures
Free DownloadThis is the best book of humor issued in many years. Planned along original lines it holds the reader from the first chapter to the last with intense interest. Mr. Hawkins' humorous adventures will make you laugh till the tears come. Do not fail to read this book.
Book Excerpt
Let it!" I snapped. "Sit here until I see what's left of my automobile."
Ten minutes later, Patrick having appeared to take charge of Maud S., Hawkins and I were making our homeward way in the runabout, which had mercifully been spared.
Something in my face must have forbidden conversation, for Hawkins wrapped the soiled fragments of his raiment about him in offended dignity, and was silent on the subject of horse-brake.
Nor have I ever heard of the thing since. Possibly Mrs. Hawkins succeeded in demonstrating the fallacy of the whole horse-brake theory; in fact, from the expression on her face when we reached the house, I am inclined to think that she did.
Mrs. Hawkins can be strong-minded on occasion, and her tongue is in no way inadequate to the needs of her mind. At any rate, a friend of mine in the patent office, whom I asked about the matter some time ago, tells, me that the Hawkins Horse-brake has never been patented, so that I presume the invention is in its grave. As a public spirited cit
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Plot bullets
It can be said that Mr. Griggs is the neighbor, unfortunate victim, and chronicler of Mr. Hawkins and his inventions.
Note: The author does not provide chapter titles as one misfortune just seems
to follow one after the other, and the particular invention is
only the catalyst for a common theme of a disaster to come.
I have placed the particular invention and potential cause of mishap,
by chapter below. Doing so, might provide an idea of what is ahead for
Hawkins and his unfortunate friend.
Chapter I - The Hawkins Horse-brake
o A device to stop a run-away horse.
o Give it a test in a country lane. What could go wrong?
Chapter 2 - The Hawkins A P (almost perpetual) motor
o A great idea and practical when under control.
o Why not strap it to a small boat and take it for a spin.
o The river is big and wide. What could go wrong?
Chapter 3 - The Hawkins Auto-aero-mobile
o An auto that uses a balloon to skip above the stony ground.
o A very weight sensitive machine. Nothing could go wrong, right?
Chapter 4 - The Hawkins Pumpless Pump
o A wind mill like pump that uses buckets instead of a traditional piston action.
o A test in a deep wide hole in the ground. What could go wrong, go wrong?
Chapter 5 - Hawkinsite
o A new powerful explosive.
o Made in the work room of the house.
o And a newly created security lock.
o How many things could go wrong?
Chapter 6 - The Hawkins Gasowashine
o A large commercial dish washer and dryer.
o It runs on gasoline and has large gears and wheels. No danger here, right?
Chapter 7 - The Hawkins Anti-Fire-Fly
o A new fire escape that wisks you away from the site of the blase.
o It\'s a laundry basket with wings. What could go wrong in a small uncontrollable flying basket?
Chapter 8 - The Hawkins Crook-Trap
o A window security trap to catch burglars.
o Works on a sensor. It\'s only for crooks, now what could go wrong?
Chapter 9 - The Hawkins Chemico-Sprinkler System
o A residential fire extinguisher.
o Based on a chemical reaction with acid. Well yes, there is a weak point in the design, but what could go wrong?
Chapter 10 - The Hawkins Alcomotive!
o A locomotive that runs on alcohol.
o Super light weight and oh so fast. Test, oh my goodness no. Nothing could go wrong on a real run, correct?
Chapter 11 - The Hawkins Hydro-Vapor Lift
o A steam elevator.
o Run on a sixteen story piston with live steam. There will be ups and downs, but nothing could go wrong.
Chapter 12 - The Hawkins Crano-Scale!
o An in-scoop-scale for measuring commercial coal sales.
o Let\'s see, The coal is measured by the ton. No big chance for anything to go wrong, right?
It can be said that Mr. Griggs is the neighbor, unfortunate victim, and chronicler of Mr. Hawkins and his inventions.
Note: The author does not provide chapter titles as one misfortune just seems
to follow one after the other, and the particular invention is
only the catalyst for a common theme of a disaster to come.
I have placed the particular invention and potential cause of mishap,
by chapter below. Doing so, might provide an idea of what is ahead for
Hawkins and his unfortunate friend.
Chapter I - The Hawkins Horse-brake
o A device to stop a run-away horse.
o Give it a test in a country lane. What could go wrong?
Chapter 2 - The Hawkins A P (almost perpetual) motor
o A great idea and practical when under control.
o Why not strap it to a small boat and take it for a spin.
o The river is big and wide. What could go wrong?
Chapter 3 - The Hawkins Auto-aero-mobile
o An auto that uses a balloon to skip above the stony ground.
o A very weight sensitive machine. Nothing could go wrong, right?
Chapter 4 - The Hawkins Pumpless Pump
o A wind mill like pump that uses buckets instead of a traditional piston action.
o A test in a deep wide hole in the ground. What could go wrong, go wrong?
Chapter 5 - Hawkinsite
o A new powerful explosive.
o Made in the work room of the house.
o And a newly created security lock.
o How many things could go wrong?
Chapter 6 - The Hawkins Gasowashine
o A large commercial dish washer and dryer.
o It runs on gasoline and has large gears and wheels. No danger here, right?
Chapter 7 - The Hawkins Anti-Fire-Fly
o A new fire escape that wisks you away from the site of the blase.
o It\'s a laundry basket with wings. What could go wrong in a small uncontrollable flying basket?
Chapter 8 - The Hawkins Crook-Trap
o A window security trap to catch burglars.
o Works on a sensor. It\'s only for crooks, now what could go wrong?
Chapter 9 - The Hawkins Chemico-Sprinkler System
o A residential fire extinguisher.
o Based on a chemical reaction with acid. Well yes, there is a weak point in the design, but what could go wrong?
Chapter 10 - The Hawkins Alcomotive!
o A locomotive that runs on alcohol.
o Super light weight and oh so fast. Test, oh my goodness no. Nothing could go wrong on a real run, correct?
Chapter 11 - The Hawkins Hydro-Vapor Lift
o A steam elevator.
o Run on a sixteen story piston with live steam. There will be ups and downs, but nothing could go wrong.
Chapter 12 - The Hawkins Crano-Scale!
o An in-scoop-scale for measuring commercial coal sales.
o Let\'s see, The coal is measured by the ton. No big chance for anything to go wrong, right?
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