The $30,000 Bequest -- A Dog's Tale -- Was It Heaven? Or Hell? -- A Cure for the Blues -- The Enemy Conquered; or, Love Triumphant -- The Californian's Tale -- A Helpless Situation -- A Telephonic Conversation -- Edward Mills and George Benton: A Tale -- The Five Boons of Life -- The First Writing-machines -- Italian without a Master -- Italian with Grammar -- A Burlesque Biography -- How to Tell a Story -- General Washington's Negro Body-servant -- Wit Inspirations of the "Two-year-olds" -- An Entertaining Article -- A Letter to the Secretary of the Treasury -- Amended Obituaries -- A Monument to Adam -- A Humane Word from Satan -- Introduction to "The New Guide of the -- Conversation in Portuguese and English" -- Advice to Little Girls -- Post-mortem Poetry -- The Danger of Lying in Bed -- Portrait of King William III -- Does the Race of Man Love a Lord? -- Extracts from Adam's Diary -- Eve's Diary
"I didn't mean so bad as that, Aleck; I didn't really mean immoral piety, I only meant--meant--well, conventional piety, you know; er--shop piety; the--the--why, YOU know what I mean. Aleck--the--well, where you put up that plated article and play it for solid, you know, without intending anything improper, but just out of trade habit, ancient policy, petrified custom, loyalty to--to--hang it, I can't find the right words, but YOU know what I mean, Aleck, and that there isn't any harm in it. I'll try again. You see, it's this way. If a person--"
"You have said quite enough," said Aleck, coldly; "let the subject be dropped."
"I'M willing," fervently responded Sally, wiping the sweat from his forehead and looking the thankfulness he had no words for. Then, musingly, he apologized to himself. "I certainly held threes-- I KNOW it--but I drew and didn't fill. That's where I'm so often weak in the game. If I had stood pat--but I didn't. I never do. I don't know enough."
While the first few stories were certainly good, I didn't think they were quite as good as I expected from Mark Twain.