Perverted Proverbs

A Manual of Immorals for the Many

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Author: Harry Graham (Col. D. Streamer)
Published: 1903
Language: English
Wordcount: 5,668 / 24 pg
Flesch-Kincaid Reading Ease: 75
LoC Category: PS
Downloads: 3,477
Added to site: 2010.12.31
mnybks.net#: 30028
Origin: gutenberg.org
Genres: Poetry, Humor
Excerpt

deft
At what is known as Petty Theft.

Your precious moments do not waste;
Take Ev'rything that isn't tied!
Who knows but you may have a Taste,
A Gift perhaps, for Homicide,--
(A Mania which, encouraged, thrives
On Taking Other People's Lives).

"Fools and Their Money soon must part!"
And you can help this on, may be,
If, in the kindness of your Heart,
You Learn to Take things easily;
And be, with little education,
A Prince of Misappropriation.

"_A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss._"

I never understood, I own,
What anybody (with a soul)
Could mean by offering a Stone
This needless warning not to Roll;
And what inducement there can be
To gather Moss I fail to see.

I'd sooner gather anything,
Like primroses, or news perhaps,
Or even wool (when suffering
A momentary mental lapse);
But could forego my share of moss,
Nor ever realize the loss.

'Tis a botanical disease,
And worthy of remark a

Reviews

Average Rating of 5 from 2 reviews: *****
2011.08.11
anzu-k
*****

Loved it!

2011.05.01
Nicotine Dragon
*****

Absolutely hilarious. I find myself quoting from these proverbs sometimes. Perfect for those that enjoy black humor.


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