Punch, or the London Charivari

-tower knocked down than the Vicar's spoons stolen. At last feeling ran so high it was decided to put the matter to the vote. Five voted for the light-headed KAISER, five for his light-fingered heir. All eyes turned on the landlord to see which way his casting vote would go.

"Friends all," said. Mr. Flodden, "we've kep' ourselves respectable in this village. Even our guys have been respectable, though, mind you, that LLOYD GEORGE--well, if it wasn't wartime, I'd say he come precious near the line. Now what's the good of us letting ourselves down to burn these 'Uns? What about old GUY FAWKES? I grant you he wanted to blow up the 'Ouses of Parliament; but, if there was licensing bills in those days, I don't blame him. I say stick to old GUY and be respectable."

It was carried unanimously.

Somewhere in his rush from theatre to theatre of the war a message will reach the KAISER. The hatred of a world may flatter him, but the cold, chilling contempt of Little Pilswick will pierce to his very h