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Mr Dooley's Philosophy

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Published: 1900
Language: English
Wordcount: 46,949 / 131 pg
Flesch-Kincaid Reading Ease: 80.3
LoC Category: PS
Downloads: 428
mnybks.net#: 2393
Genres: Humor, Essays

The reporter of these monologues would apologize for the frequent reappearances of Mr. Dooley, if he felt the old gentleman would appreciate an apology in his behalf. But Mr. Dooley has none of the modesty that has been described as "an invention for protection against envy," because unlike that one of his distinguished predecessors who discovered this theory to excuse his own imperfect but boastful egotism, he recognizes no such human failing as envy.

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ats me in th' eye an' I call f'r th' polis. They isn't a polisman in sight. I say to th' man that poked me: 'Sir, I fain wud sleep.' 'Get up,' he says, 'an' be doin',' he says. 'Life is rale, life is earnest,' he says, 'an' man was made to fight,' he says, fetchin' me a kick. An' if I'm tired I say, 'What's th' use? I've got plenty iv money in me inside pocket. I'll go to a place where they don't know how to fight. I'll go where I can get something but an argymint f'r me money an' where I won't have to rassle with th' man that bates me carpets, ayether,' I says, 'f'r fifty cints overcharge or good govermint,' I says. An' I pike off to what Hogan calls th' effete monarchies iv Europe an' no wan walks on me toes, an' ivry man I give a dollar to becomes an acrobat an' I live comfortably an' die a markess! Th' divvle I do!

"That's what I was goin' to say," Mr. Hennessy remarked. 'Ye wudden't live annywhere but here."

"No," said Mr. Dooley, "I wudden't. I'd rather be Dooley iv Chicago than th' Earl i

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Author of the Day

RD Vincent
RD Vincent likes to take readers to a special place to call your own, a place where time stands still, a fabled town called Donbridge. Vincent's Donbridge series is a collection of stories and folk tales, some of which he heard from his own grandmother. As our author of the day, Vincent talks about the latest bundle from this series, tells us more about the inspiration behind the stories and reveals why he also included recipes in the books.
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